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Parenting is probably one of the most exciting, scary and sometimes confusing responsibility that most of you have been faced with. It is also a responsibility that has absolutely, no option, of failure.

The line between good and bad parenting is blurry, since every child is unique and therefore has unique needs. However there is a particular style that works great for 90% of the children.

Below I will explain the various types of parenting styles and help you identify yours.

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  1.        Authoritarian

A simple word for you to understand the basic principles behind this style is ‘Dictatorship’. A parent following this style believes himself or herself dictates tasks, defines clear rules and applies the principles of negative reinforcement (English translation J – punishment if the child fails to follow ) to gain a child’s obedience.

This style of parenting is not good for children. The channel for open communication in such a relationship are severed and the child fails to understand the reason or logic behind rules. Children that grow up in this style tend to be low on self-esteem, shy and generally misbehave in the absence of authority.

  1.        Authoritative

This is the best and most effective parenting styles. This style involves rules such as bed time, study hours, cleaning up after themselves etc. But in the midst of all the rules, open channels of communication are maintained and nurtured. The rules provide children the safety and structure they require as well as help build goof habits while the communication channel ensures they understand the reason behind the rules, are able to put forward and clear out any anxiety or reservations they might have and have a healthier and more transparent relationship.

If you are following this form of parenting and it doesn’t seem to work for you, counselling should help understand the reasons behind the dysfunctionality and hence help iron them out.

  1.        Permissive

This style of parenting is the opposite of Authoritarian. Families with this style do not have rules for their children and few rules that might be laid down are loosely managed and hence rarely followed. The relationship in this style is loving and nurturing. The children however are unable to get the safety the feel from structures and become rowdy and lack a sense of discipline. Parents tend to follow this style because they hate to upset their children and find it hard to find the balance between the strict and the nurturing aspects.

Parents using this style need to move to the authoritative style by establishing some structures and boundaries for their children. If your child has does not follow instruction and rules or if you didn’t have any rules in the first place and are struggling to implement them now, you can consult a counsellor to help solve these problems.

  1.        Neglectful

This is probably the most harmful type of parenting. Neglectful parents are not involved in the relationship with their children. Neither do they put in any effort into parenting nor do they expect anything in return. Parents in this style though provide food and shelter have little or no involvement (or even knowledge about their child’s life.

Parents in this situation are likely to not even care to find out how to correct this issue. I therefore urge you if you know someone who is following this parenting style to try and  make them realize the importance of a parent in a child’s life.

Do let me know in the comments below if this post helped you.

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